I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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