The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
