says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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