I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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