Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
two words...techno handjob
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize