You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
