I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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