get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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