I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
