You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
