well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
