Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
