He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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