I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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