do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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