oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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