We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
