Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize