Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize