Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How drunk are you?
Completed.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
