Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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