yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
