Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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