dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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