people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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