we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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