she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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