I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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