I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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