think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
