my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
