R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
