i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize