even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
be right there i have to get my cape
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
