I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize