Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize