the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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