Fine. I'll sleep in my office
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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