I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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