I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
