when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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