Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
