yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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