I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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