ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
