She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there was a trapeze. enough said
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
