Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
