I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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