What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
