i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
