I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
