you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize