can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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