Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
