i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
