I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize