I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I will be naked everywhere
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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