9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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