Got a toothbrush?
I cannot find my penis.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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