So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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