After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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