So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize