I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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