So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
