just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize